


if im a star, then you're the sky

by a_very_smol_frog



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: First Kiss, Happy Ending, Idiots in Love, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining, POV Alternating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 18:27:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29229960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_very_smol_frog/pseuds/a_very_smol_frog
Summary: Tooru is a star that hangs in the night sky, and Hajime brings color to an otherwise dull world.The distance between them seems so far.Will they be able to meet somewhere in between?
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 8
Kudos: 21
Collections: Iwaoi Server Valentine Exchange 2021





	if im a star, then you're the sky

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shikamarubase](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shikamarubase/gifts).



> My submission for the IwaOi Valentines Day Exchange! It was so much fun to write! I hope you enjoy [Ed!](https://twitter.com/shikamarubase?s=21%20\(shikamarubase#3087\))
> 
> Thank you [Anna ](https://twitter.com/rinpanna) for being my boo and betaing this <3 you can all thank her for the proper punctuation

For as long as Hajime has known Tooru, he has found himself drawn to him. Even as a snot-nosed brat, there was just a sparkle to Tooru that captivated him. That feeling never faded over their decade together; if anything, it grew stronger. 

Because Tooru is a _star_. Something brilliant and shining—a light in Hajime’s midnight black sky. He brings warmth and life to a once barren landscape. Tooru is the wine stained rays of sun that paint Hajime’s duvet in the morning. He’s the white radiance that glitters on the gentle rolling waves of the sea. He’s the pale moonlight that illuminates the long grasses that fireflies weave their way in and out of as they dance. Wherever Tooru is, there is something shimmering and gold that can’t be described by words or painted into a picture, because to appreciate it, you have to witness it with your own two eyes. 

Tooru is...extraordinary.

And Hajime was a fool to have believed he would be the only one to notice. 

It started in middle school, the notes shoved into Tooru’s shoe locker, homemade treats at lunch, calls from the crowd during their volleyball matches. Walks home after school that were once shared were now done alone, as Tooru stayed back to preen in the praise of prattling girls. 

Hajime tells himself he is fine, it’s better this way, being Tooru’s friend is better than being nothing at all. 

He fears that if he drifts too close to the sun, he will crash back down to earth a blistered heap of flesh, with only memories to sooth his bleeding wounds. 

No, Hajime is much better with his feet on the ground, admiring the stars from afar.

~~~

Tooru remembers when he met Hajime quite clearly. 

It was an unforgiving summer day; the heat was oppressive, and had seemingly gained mass as it sunk heavily into Tooru’s lungs. 

The endless blue sky was more a curse than it was a blessing, with not a single cotton white cloud in sight to block the intense rays of the sun. Waves of heat bounced off the charcoal gray black top, and baked the bottom of his shoes. 

He had wandered into a nearby woods in an attempt to find some respite from the sun’s relentless beating, but had lost his way in the tangled umber roots and sweeping branches of the trees. 

Hidden amongst the moss and ferns was a wild-haired boy with a gap toothed smile and eyes the same shade of the sunlit leaves. They seemed to glow, even in the darkened shadows of the understory, swirling like seaweed under the ocean’s waves. 

After an afternoon of turning over rocks and scaling trees, looking for iridescent beetle scales, and whatever other treasures children value from their adventures in the woods, Tooru had decided that he quite liked this boy. 

They’ve been inseparable ever since. 

Well, that was the case at least, until they entered middle school. It was a gradual shift, like a glacier crawling its way back to the azure depths of the sea, but the movement was there. And before his very eyes, Tooru saw the gap widen. 

Text messages went unanswered, weekends no longer consisted of movie marathons on the couch, and Tooru turned into Oikawa even in the quiet moments they spent alone. 

He felt the vibrancy leach out of the images of his life, bleeding down the page to form a muddy puddle at the bottom. Pewter highlights and ashen shadows cast a gloomy haze over everything.

Tooru’s dreams have always been full of a kaleidoscope of colors but recently, he has been longing for the sight of freshly unfurled leaves dancing in the sun.

It’s his favorite shade of green, after all.

~~~

“Iwa-chan, do you hate me?” They are laid out on Hajime’s roof, staring up at the navy and plum swirls of the night sky. Today, they lost to Karasuno, and, silently, Tooru followed Hajime home after the match. No words have been spoken between them since they entered the house; there’s a silent understanding between them to not mention their defeat. 

“It took you this long to figure that out, Shittykawa?”

“I’m being serious, Hajime.” Tooru’s tone lost its playful lilt—it sounds brittle and frail. Like the fading glow of a shooting star.

Hajime sits up on his elbows and looks over at his best friend. Tooru’s gaze is still trained on the sky, looking at the moon, or the galaxies, or maybe even the heavens beyond, Hajime doesn’t know. 

“Iwa-chan, did you know there are more stars in the sky than there are grains of sand on Earth?” He sounds more like himself now, but the shimmering glow is dimming, threatening to blink out of existence forever. 

“Why do you think I hate you? If you say it's because we lost, I swear to god Shittykawa I wi-”

“No, it started before today. I noticed it our last year of middle school, but it was probably happening before then.” Finally, Tooru’s gaze shifts to land on Hajime. Even though they are only two stories up, the air feels thin, and Hajime’s lungs are weak as he tries to send enough oxygen to his brain, so he can figure out how Tooru could _ever_ think that Hajime hates him. 

“Of course I don’t hate you.” It’s a pathetic attempt to ignore the fact it’s his own hands smothering the radiance he has worked so hard to preserve over the years.

“Then, what is it?” What changed?” Tooru sits up fully now, eyes boring into Hajime with such intensity goose bumps ripple across his arms. 

“It's nothing you did. It was...just something I had to do.” Tooru lets out a humourless laugh. It sounds like a supernova. The twinkle fades to just the barest hint of light.

“It’s not you, it’s me? Really, Iwa-chan, I would think that after thirteen years of friendship, I deserve a lie that's a little more original.”

Hajime bites his tongue.

He has to protect himself, not allow himself to slip, to get burned. But as Tooru stands up to leave, Hajime feels the steady drip of dread crawl down his spine, and he gets a taste of a world with no light. He decides he would rather carry the scars of drifting too close to the sun than live in darkness forever.

“Because you’re a star!” Tooru freezes where he is, arms stretched out to open the window to Hajime’s childhood bedroom. 

“Well, obviously I’m not if I couldn’t beat Tobio-chan. You’ll have to come up with som—” Hajime rakes his hands through his hair.

“Thats...that’s not what I meant,” he sighs.

“Then what do you mean Hajime? Please, enlighten me, because right now it feels like I’m about to lose my best friend and I-” Tooru stops talking when his voice cracks. Hajime is scared if he blinks, when he opens his eyes, there will be nothing left besides an endless sky of darkness, and the echoes of the glow that used to be the center of his whole universe. 

Hajime takes a deep breath. Even if he does get scorched in the process, it will be worth it to run his fingers through the starlight just one time. 

~~~

Tooru feels eternities pass in every second of silence that stretches between them. He feels lost and alone in a world awash in shades of gray. 

“You’re...ever since I met you, Tooru, I’ve known it’ll always be you. I didn’t realize it at first, but one day it just clicked, and I knew I would do anything to stay by your side. Even if that meant just watching from afar.” Like watercolor, the pastels start to peak back into view. 

“What do you mean, it’ll always be me?” Hajime looks worn, ragged and frayed at the edges, but Tooru needs to hear it. He needs to hear the words spill past Hajime’s lips and trickle into the twilight. 

“It means what it means, Tooru. I just want you to be happy.” He glances down at his hands as if they hold the answers. “Even if it kills me on the inside, I just want you to be happy,” he repeats it softer this time, like that will lessen the weight of the confession. 

Reds and blues start to bleed into the gaps, flowing between the cracks in the blacks and whites. 

“But what if you make me happy?”

“I can’t.” The words come out mangled, like they had to rip themselves from Hajime’s throat—out from the deepest parts of his soul to finally take flight into the night. 

Tooru moves closer, and cups Hajime’s hands in his own. He’s still staring down at them, and maybe they don’t have the answers Hajime is looking for, but between those two calloused palms fit Tooru’s entire world. 

“If I’m a star, then you’re the sky. Always there to catch me. An endless expanse that I want to spend the rest of my life exploring.” Tooru’s fingers tremble slightly as he laces them with Hajime’s. “What good is a star, if it doesn't have a night sky to hang in?” 

So many colors flood back to him now: dandelion yellows, cherry stained reds, sweetheart pinks, but there’s still one missing. One Tooru yearns to see more than anything.

When Hajime finally looks up, the world lights back up to its former glory. And Tooru would trade in all the other colors, if it meant he gets to stare into the shade of sunlit leaves forever. 

~~~

Their first kiss tastes like the emeralds of evergreens and silver starlight. 

Only fools try to reach for the stars, and the frightened throw their roots into the ground. But luckily for them, two stories high is just in between. 


End file.
